The Story of Maria
As told to us by her father

Maria (not her real name) was a beautiful life loving young woman. She died at 33, leaving a seven year old daughter.

Four months before her death, she was by chance informed by an insurance company that she was HIV+. Opportunistic lymphoma killed her. Her divorced husband died a year later from AIDS. He had concealed his HIV status from her and all others until his own death, and said that he had some disease of the pancreas or kidneys. When she died he told people in Montreal, where he lived, that she had died in a car accident.

I am Maria's father and my wife and I are taking care of a beautiful now 13 year old girl Alana (also not her real name) who, we hope, will one day be cured of her HIV+ burden which she has been carrying since birth. Nobody is aware of Alana's HIV status except family and very close friends. Neither the children in school, nor the parents or teachers know her problem. When the time comes Alana can decide for herself what to do. She is very cautious about it and avoids showing other children the many drugs she takes. Why? She lost her best friend in elementary school when the friend's mother, a nurse, discovered the secret. We too do not want our granddaughter to be ostracized in school. Once the kids are old enough to step out of the tight circle of parental control, perhaps then the time will be ripe for full disclosure. This secrecy is, of course, an additional burden and invades constantly Alana's and our lives. Yet, our own lives have been tremendously enriched through Alana.

Maria died peacefully. She left a diary. A week before her death she wrote:

"Yesterday I thought I was dying. Maybe I am but at 7 A.M. today I still have the strength to write to you Alana. Whatever happens, I don't want to go without you knowing a few things. I'll try to write legibly. I first want you to know how much I love you. I love you as life itself. You've been all that's good in my life, even when I've been the most frustrated or angry.

You've given me all the reasons and more to be a kind and loving person. I don't know where I'd be today without you. You have been my teacher and I have been blessed by having known you.

As for dying, I want you to know that I am not afraid. There is nothing to be afraid of. Birth, life, death, re-birth it is all part of life's cycle and I am completely at peace with it all. Peace and love go with you, Alana, Forever."

There were a few more entries in the diary until the last one just a few hours before her death.

Her many friends built a memorial to her in a little park in East Vancouver: A blue river made of tiles on the ground and amongst other pictures and names in tile also her name and a young woman playing with a ball in the river.

Maria's real name appears on the Memorial, but is
withheld here to safeguard Alana's identify.