The Story of Joshua Peter Austin
shared with us by his partner David Caird

Ours was a 'love at first sight' story that stuck. We met in Toronto in 1988 - I was still discovering who I was, and he had just left a relationship - he always said it was that red sweater I wore on the night we met - I think we were destined to be together.

Adopted from a Northern Ireland orphanage and brought to Canada as a child, Josh was sensitive to the issues of neglected and abused children and teenagers. He was a talented and respected mental health and social worker in child and adolescent settings in Vancouver and Toronto.

When we met Josh was full of life and very fit - he had been an avid skier while living in Vancouver, and a daily client at Wellesley Fitness in Toronto - which probably contributed to his late diagnosis and the strength of his fight. He used to joke that when he found out he was HIV positive, he had so few t-cells he could name them all. Today it's a tired cliche - then it was one small way we could laugh at AIDS.

It was early days in the care and treatment of HIV/AIDS patients, and then as now, nearly everything Josh tried was experimental. He entered every trial full of hope, and, with the exception of several bouts of pneumonia, held the disease at bay for 5 years.

During that time we moved to Vancouver after visiting during a particularly warm Christmas season - of course the move was also intended to bring Josh's fragile lungs to a milder climate and cleaner air. We travelled as often as we could afford - Ireland, San Diego, an amazing cruise - seeing as much of the world as possible while Josh was able.

It was, for the most part, a magical time, but for all the love and laughter and adventure, there was always consideration for the disease, like an unwelcome third party to every moment of our lives.

Using his skills as a social worker, Josh volunteered with AIDS service organizations in Toronto and Vancouver, contributing to early editions of the Positive Living manual, and adding whenever possible to the quality of life of the organizations' clients.

And through it all, he was devoted to Toby, a stubborn but truly loving mutt that I credit with giving Josh a daily reason to be out and about, even on some of his, and my, worst days.

During a routine exam in late 1993, Josh's dermatologist noticed the first small sign of KS. Josh died at home in August 1994 after several rounds of treatment and remission. His last words to me were "I'll miss you". I will never forget that moment, nor the emptiness that followed - the 'presence of absence' that the AIDS Memorial's design brings into stark reality - an emptiness that is still felt these 10 years later by the family and friends he so generously shared his life with.

Joshua Peter Austin on the Memorial