The Story of Brian Botsford
As told to us by his brother, Barry Botsford.

Brian moved to Vancouver from Edmonton around 1974 to work towards a BA degree in medieval history. He first attended Langara College where he made the Dean's List for the spring term of 1975. Brian then transferred to UBC and was granted his BA, with Honours, in medieval history in May 1980. At UBC, Brian was active in the gay community, serving as president or chairperson of the UBC Gay Society (I'm not sure what the actual name is or was). Brian was a member of the Vancouver Men's Chorus for a number of years - Brian loved singing and was very proud of his involvement with this outstanding chorus. Brian lived in Vancouver from his arrival here until about 1982 when he moved to Burnaby. Brian worked for Canada Post, as a letter carrier and a courier, throughout his time in Vancouver, taking some breaks for his studies, until his untimely death on 18 September 1987.

Brian is my twin brother, and I am very proud of who he was and what he did in this life. He was a very gentle, supportive, intelligent and quick witted man who endeared himself to all who knew him.

I used to come to Vancouver several times a year, from Calgary, to visit Brian, and to visit my two children, Dirke and Cara, who lived on Vancouver Island. Many times Dirke and Cara would come to Vancouver and stay with me at Brian's. Brian always made us more than welcome and would show us the delights of this city that he loved so much. He would take us all to the ethnic restaurants, to live theatre, to hear the Nylons, to the many parks - especially Stanley Park - and many other tourist attractions. He always took such pleasure in sharing his city with us. My children loved their Uncle Brian and all the attention that he showered on them. They always had such a good time at Uncle Brian's place in Vancouver.

In 1978, when I was considering moving to Vancouver, Brian helped me by setting up some job interviews for me, by helping me find accommodation, and in general setting me up for a successful move to Vancouver. Brian helped me get a job with the Post Office, where I worked until I went back into teaching.

When I became a teacher at Sir Charles Tupper Secondary, Brian would often visit me at Tupper and come to various school functions. We both enjoyed the interest and the confusion of my students when they saw us together and wondered which one was which! Brian took a mail route that was near Tupper and so delivered mail to many of my student's homes. They were all glad to know him. I was very touched when, after Brian died, one of my students who was on the yearbook staff wanted a baby picture of Brian and I to put in the yearbook. She said that she really liked my brother and wanted to honour him by including his picture in the School Yearbook.

I remember phoning a mutual friend from high school- Bev - to tell her of Brian's death. We wept together over the phone as we recalled and enjoyed memories of Brian. Bev told me that when anyone was with Brian that they could be whatever they wanted to be - Brian was that accepting. Bev thought that was one of his many qualities.

When we were planning for Brian's funeral my Dad thought that a funeral home that seated 50 or so people would be sufficient. I thought that we needed a place that would hold several hundred. We chose a funeral home that would seat about 300 and it was filled to overflowing. Just before the service began, someone told me to go outside and see the postal trucks. I am still filled with emotion when I recall going outside and seeing postal courier trucks as far as I could see, in every direction. The whole courier system had shut down because the couriers all told the dispatcher that they were going to Brian's funeral - they held him in such high esteem.

During the funeral service the minister, a friend of Brian's, Rev. Roy Wood, said that we had all known different aspects of this man Brian Botsford, and asked us to share a significant memory of our time with him so that we could all get to know just a bit more about Brian. The stories were diverse, and all uplifting. Brian just helped so many in so many ways. He was a good friend, colleague, brother and son. As everyone filed past our family, shaking hands and briefly conversing, several said that if a funeral could ever be happy and uplifting, Brian's funeral was, and that it was just like Brian and just how he would like his funeral to be.

I was teaching a Health 10 course the year my brother died and a component of the course was on death and dying. Brian's funeral director came to Tupper and gave three superb, and sensitive, lessons to my students. She then took us all on a tour of the funeral home. When we went downstairs to where they made the memorial stones the staff looked up with great surprise. Brian had delivered mail to them, and they knew me from the times that I would go and visit Brian on his route. With great enthusiasm they asked me where their all time favourite "Postie" had gone because they had not seen him for a while. They were terribly saddened to know that he had passed away.

Brian loved life, and he loved sharing the enjoyment of it.

Whenever I came to Vancouver Brian was always doing something. He invited me to his gay dances at UBC, and to some evenings at some gay clubs, where I had a lot of lively fun. He used to introduce me around as his brother who was a "closet straight" - and everyone made me welcome because I was Brian's brother.

Brian loved singing with the Vancouver Men's Chorus. I remember Brian taking Mum and I to hear them practice in some parks. He just loved to share the joy of their singing. We always attended their shows - they were so excellent! Just a few weeks before Brian died he was standing in my apartment listening to one of their performance tapes and singing through his tears with such joy and such deep sadness.

Brian was so supremely proud when he graduated from UBC. Mum and I and some other friends all went to support and honour his graduation. He just reveled in every aspect of the ceremonies of his admission as a UBC grad. He beamed with happiness as he came down from the stage after having been "tapped" on the head as a final part of the ceremonies. Graduating from UBC was one of the highlights of Brian's life.

Brian thoroughly enjoyed Stanley Park. He liked feeding the birds and squirrels, and especially walking or riding through the park and around the sea wall, and usually with someone. That is why it would be such an honour to have Brian's name as a part of the AIDS Memorial. It is so appropriate to have this Memorial located in Stanley Park - in the one special areas of Brian's beloved Vancouver in which he found so much peace and enjoyment.

When Brian was ill I told him that his having AIDS has changed my life. After he died I committed myself to making sure that his death was not in vain, to speaking up or doing something, when the opportunity arose, to educate people about AIDS and, where possible, to change peoples attitudes and awareness about AIDS and those who have AIDS.

I have spoken with students - formally and informally, addressed a group of single mothers, been on an AIDS discussion panel, been interviewed with my Mum for a newspaper article, and done a number of other things.

I strongly support the mission of the Vancouver AIDS Memorial Society, and know that Brian would too. Our family and Brian's friends believe that Brian would be further upheld and honoured if his name could be included the Memorial. I know that Brian would feel some measure of fulfillment if his name, on this Memorial, would enlighten even one person, or help prevent one person from contracting AIDS.

Thank you, on behalf of my brother Brian, for this opportunity.

Brian Botsford on the Memorial